Ah yes, the never ending cycle of, I know these people don’t have perfect lives, but I’m still upset that my life isn’t as perfect as theirs.
The way I use Instagram has changed SO much since I started using it. I would like to think, for the better, but honestly, it always has its ups and downs.
From posting photos of my spit covered retainer, to facetuning my face to look as airbrushed as untouched snow, to trying to be the perfect fashion blogger, to finally just posting whatever I want, it’s been a journey.
I love Instagram, I do. If I had to pick a favorite social media platform, it would be Instagram. I’m very visual and I love being able to see all of the things, all of the time!
Although I don’t have a “theme” anymore, because I like to preserve my sanity as much as possible, I still like my photos to look cohesive. I have loved photography ever since I knew what a camera was, and I know my Instagram doesn’t really show any skill I have in that department, but it still allows me to be creative.
Samantha Ravndahl made a YouTube video where she talked about what was actually happening behind each Instagram photo, and the minute I watched it, I knew I had to do the same. We’re always posting the best versions of ourselves, and I am no exception to this flaw. My posts might be more real now, but they used to be as fake as it gets. So please enjoy me exposing myself (I’m starting to notice this is a trend in a lot of my blog posts, not mad about it).
I really wish I hadn’t deleted hundreds of my old posts. The OG’s are all gone. Anyways, look how happy I am here!!! Except not at all!!! I was extremely underweight, I didn’t have a period, I was irritable all the time, my digestive issues were taking over my life, and my hair was lifeless (don’t let these curls fool you). But cute black and white selfie, so people could boost my ego was the move.
I’m totally into tarot cards and all that spiritual shit that probably has you rolling your eyes, but I definitely just set this up for a photo. Those cards went right back into their box after it was taken and I have no clue what the future had in store for me that day. When you need content, you need content, right?!
I have PTSD from thinking about how strict my Instagram theme was. Every single photo had a super white background and was super bright. I definitely wasn’t wearing jeans that day, but I wanted to take a cute photo #inmycalvins so here we are.
Channeling my inner Picasso, I went through a very quick blue phase with my theme, it only lasted for about nine posts.
I wanted to include some positives in this too, because not all my posts are a collection of fake happiness. This was my 16th birthday, and it continues to be one of the best days of my life. I had so much fun that day, and I got to spend it with most of my closest friends! With that being said, I’m still friends with only three of these people.
And we’re back with the super white theme! I decided to make a juice that day and only show a fraction of what went into it, because cute photo. Also, I fucking hate raw kale.
Although I do wear real glasses now, these are very much fake. I was not yet blind, just fashun.
Definitely facetuned something here, but don’t remember what. Also there were people in the ocean behind me that I photoshopped out, because how dare they ruin this very candid photo!
There were no clouds in this photo, I just put them there myself.
This was to promote one of my OOTD posts on my old blog. I literally hated every single photo I took this day. I’m also really happy I don’t own that skirt anymore. I was trying to be what I thought a blogger should be, and not the kind of blogger I actually wanted to be. You live and you learn kids.
Whew! We finally started easing up on the theme! For some reason, one of my eyes looked a lot smaller than the other in this photo, so I facetuned it to make them even.
I have nothing to expose here. Just wanted to share this photo of my best friends and me celebrating my birthday. You can actually find this photo under ‘personality pic’ in the dictionary.
There were SO. MANY. PEOPLE. on this cliff just watching me take this photo. It’s really hard to pretend you can’t hear people commenting things about you while you’re trying to balance and not fall to your death. Wouldn’t recommend it.
I literally didn’t do anything on Halloween this year except take photos in this costume. Why? Because blog content!!! Honestly, it’s a shame, because I made this Sarah Sanderson costume and it was definitely one of my favorites.
That mug is empty, but I just really needed everyone to know how obsessed I was with Halloween. Also I never do anything on my bed, except sleep, but my blankets made for a cute background.
This was the gloomiest of gloomy days, those clouds and blue sky are, in fact, fake as fuck!
Mid hike, I thought this area would make for a pretty photo. Even though I was right, I don’t even want to talk about how many shots this took (because it’s hard to creative direct when you’re upside down) , and I’m still annoyed that my leg wasn’t completely straightened.
This is one of my favorite photo of my best friend and me at a Christmas lights show. I did have to photoshop SO many people out of the background though. Also, let’s note that the theme is no more!!!
I’ve talked about it before, but I hate my nose. The only reason I posted this photo was because my nose looked cute, and I never think my nose looks cute. Also my nipple pasty was showing so I had to photoshop that.
It was FREEZING (and raining) that day, but I wanted cute photos so this is what I wore. I also thought I looked bad in every single one, so I purposefully posted all the outtakes.
This was in Turks and Caicos, at the most beautiful villa I have ever seen in my life. Now let me be clear, I do not have villa money at all. My mom is a nanny and she was going to Turks on vacation with the family she works for, and they very kindly invited me to go. Without that connection, there would have been no way I would have stayed at the same villa as Diddy, and had the same chef as Kylie Jenner did on her trip here. Another fun fact, I got food poising right before this trip so I actually felt like shit. Every. Single. Day.
This was my first day in London. I took a red eye, because I thought it would be great for jet lag to sleep throughout the whole flight. Jokes on me, because it was so cold on the plane, that no matter how many layers I put on, I was still fighting hypothermia and only got one hour of sleep right before landing. As happy as I was to be in London, I have never felt more gross.
Here’s just my most recent selfie, because I actually like this photo of myself, which is rare. I hate getting my photo taken, so something I struggle with, is having content to post consistently. It’s funny because in the first selfie I shared, I looked so happy, but I was in such a dark place. Now I almost never smile in photos, but I promise I was in a great mood here!
And finally we have my most recent Instagram post! I just finished teaching my first class, where I got to teach my own workout that I created called Synthesis. I was shitting myself right before class started, but after it ended I was filled with so much gratitude for all the kind comments from everyone that took the class. These photos were taken post-teaching, and I kind of hate how I look, but I posted them anyway, which is a thing I do sometimes to challenge myself.
Can we say, hashtag growth?! I feel so much more content with the things I post on Instagram today. I don’t edit my photos anymore, I don’t take photos just for the sake of taking them, and I try to be as honest as possible.
I hope this helps you remember to stop comparing yourself to others when you scroll through your feed. Filter out the content that makes you feel bad, and only follow accounts that spark joy (s/o Marie Kondo).