Pretty Privilege: Do You Benefit From It?

Growing up, it didn’t take me long to realize that I wasn’t the pretty friend. It wasn’t a compliment I was ever used to getting, and it was instead replaced by compliments that had nothing to do with my exterior.

I didn’t ever really think about the way I looked until I started to like boys. I wasn’t the girl that boys ever showed interest, yet my best friend had a new boyfriend every single month. I knew I was a good person, and I had a lot of friends, so I decided boys must not have liked me because I was ugly.

Lately on TikTok, it’s been a trend to tell people you have pretty privilege, without actually telling them you have pretty privilege. And while I know being a “pretty” girl is subjective, because we all have a different definition of what is pretty, I think we can all agree that there is a universal understanding of who, and what, is considered pretty.

Being a tall, skinny, white, blonde, cis woman is a great start in benefiting from pretty privilege in this society, but it obviously goes beyond that.

I want to preface this by saying, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with admitting that you have pretty privilege. I think the problem lies in acting like it’s a large burden you carry and refuse to admit.

I recently asked my Instagram followers if they thought that I benefited from pretty privilege, and they all said yes. I don’t want to be the person I just described, but it truly shocked me. Maybe this was a, if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it at all situation, but I still didn’t expect it.

I also asked them if they thought that THEY benefited from pretty privilege, and the responses were not so one-sided. I noticed that most of the people that answered “no” were women of color. Women who I literally thought were absolutely beautiful. And the women who answered “yes” explained it by saying, they have no problem getting someone to do something for them, or no problem getting someone to let them do something.

The very reliable, Urban Dictionary, defines pretty privilege as, “someone who gets clout, opportunities, and becomes more successful in life because of how attractive they are.”

“Do I have skinny privilege? Maybe. White privilege? 100%. But pretty privilege? I don’t know.”

If I look back, I can’t really think of a time when my looks helped me get ahead, at least not that I was aware of. Do I have skinny privilege? Maybe. White privilege? 100%. But pretty privilege? I don’t know.

I don’t think I’m ugly, but I also don’t think I have pretty privilege.

When I think of pretty privilege, I think of influencers with millions of followers doing the bare minimum, popular TikTokers literally just existing, people who just wake up and look like they were sculpted by gods. Considering that I look like a sickly child without concealer and mascara, and my curly hair makes me look like an electrocuted founding father if not handled properly, it’s hard to place myself in this category.

I’ve talked before about how as a society, we don’t just deem “pretty” people as better, but also healthier, smarter, friendlier, happier, etc. Even if we know nothing about a person, their looks will tell us what we think we know. Yet, being pretty is expected to be a natural thing. We love “pretty” people, but not when they try hard to be pretty. We look down upon cosmetic procedures, weight transformations, and “too much” makeup, but also look down upon being “ugly”.

“Even if we know nothing about a person, their looks will tell us what we think we know.“

It can be hard to grasp that pretty privilege is even a thing, because beauty is subjective, but you can’t deny that there is always a standard of beauty within society. How many boxes you check within that standard will be how much you benefit from pretty privilege. We all want to be “woke” and claim that looks don’t matter, but it would be silly to let yourself believe that, that is a universal truth.

Being a white, cis women, pretty privilege goes far beyond things I can even understand or relate to. Sure, I don’t think I measure up to those who typically benefit from their looks alone, but I’ll never be told I’m pretty for someone of my skin tone, like women of color often are. I never have to deal with wondering if I’m “passing” or “not passing” as trans women often do. And even when these women receive benefits from being “pretty”, it is only a fraction of what their white, thin, straight, cis counterparts receive.

Although our world is evolving and beauty standards are being broken down, it is still a systemic issue that needs to be acknowledged. Pretty privilege definitely exists, but that doesn’t mean attractive people don’t face any adversities. Whether in terms of sexual harassment or just not being taken seriously, women sometimes view their beauty as a downfall. Whatever the case, no one should be judged by how they look or how attractive they are. That is not what we should be defined by, but it will not be something that is quick and easy to change.